‘Wimin’ made me a man

I am a ladies man. OK let me first explain, I love ladies but for the record I love men more. So what do I mean? Well yesterday I started to look at all the people who have played their part in making me, well… me. I thought that I would list all those people that I in some bizarre way look up to? Now I have to be really honest I have never really had idols – they are inevitably not worth looking up to. So the following people (OK there are a few blokes on the list but once you see who they are you will understand) have all helpped me to be me.

Scrumdiddlyumptious

For all of those with a sweet tooth

SFxxx

A dream in Peach Taffeta

Monkey would look a dream in this little number

I was never going to be a blushing bride for two very simple reasons

1 – I am a man

2 – I was never sure that I wanted to get married

However about 6 months after meeting Monkey, I started to think a little differently. First let me explain a little about him. He has this habit of making me laugh when I am trying to argue or nag him to do something. He has a habit of demanding tea at the drop of a hat (big cup, red one sugar!) and worst of all I can’t imagine my life without his bulk besides me. So for the last 5 years we have happily milled about and lived together; me being fussy vegan type and him being a demanding ‘Northern Monkey’. So Just before Christmas we got ‘engaged’ (not sure what the gay option is for engagement is but seeing as I believe in equality I shall say that we are engaged). There is no ring as the one that Monkey wants is around £2000 (platinum with a cluster of small ‘black’ diamonds – see I told you he was a high maintenance be-atch).

So the family know, friends know, people at work know. People have already started to ask when the big day will be and what they should wear and what types of gifts they should buy for us. I have already had to quash peoples hopes of attending a ‘Gay Wedding’ as Monkey wants to spend about 50p on the whole thing and has already stated that he would rather no one is there (I’m hoping that I am not included in that!). I have also had to upset Monkey by saying that I would prefer that people don’t give us gifts (we have a home full of tat as it is, without a selection of toasters, smoothie makers and small bits of china added to the mix)

So at the moment we don’t have a date (it maybe at some point this year) so as soon as I have more information I will let you know.

The belle of the ball

SF xxx

Sia – You’ve Changed

I have become a convert to the joy of Sia – and this latest video fills me with little weasles of happiness

Dead and Buried or the day of my father’s death.

It has been over 10 years since my father died. I can still remember the day, every stark grey moment of it; I can remember getting up to make a cup of tea and getting a call from one of my dad’s employees to say that he had been taken to hospital after collapsing. At the time, Helen (my sister) and I were the only people in the house. I had to go and wake and tell her the news, she was recovering from her Birthday piss up the night before – she started to cry, the sort of big fat tears that came in huge uncontrollable sobs. I think out of all of the things that happened over the next few days and weeks, this was the thing that most upset me.

REWIND TO TWO WEEKS EARLYER

It was the last week of university and my time being a student had come to a close. I have to say that out of all of the things that I have ever done in my life (looking back now without the aid of rose tinted glasses) I wouldn’t have chosen that particular university. For all the great friendships that I had made, for all the fun times that I had been part of – I still encountered my first and (thankfully – touch wood) only time as an outcast.

REWIND TO THREE YEARS EARLYER

I have to say that I only chose that particular university because it was the best place to do my chosen course – Geology & Biology (joint hons.). I had always been me and lucky for me coming from a highly supportive and caring environment of college. Knowing that university would be

The game of life

In life there are two types of people; winners and losers. At this moment in time I have a feeling that Im more of a spectator.  Click on the image to make it larger – sadly I can’t figure out this new look wordpress add an image thing!

Get down with your bad self

SF xxx

‘Balls’, ‘Arse’ and the dangers of ice…

I know that I only have myself to blame for this; but I do often wonder the sort of low level scum that I am attracting to my blog (apart from you – of course!). So looking at the search terms that people have used to get to this low rent ‘gin-joint’ include:

ball up the arse,  balls up arse,  what does shallow end of the gene pool mean?,  penis size gene pool,  balls in arse

I am thinking that ‘Balls’ is the main reason that people are coming here and I feel such a fraud for not have any on offer, sorry! If you have come here looking for shoving balls up your arse – please don’t – do you really want to end up in casualty at 10:45pm try to explain how it happened “Well…erm… I was naked and cleaning my flat, when… I slipped on a sock/cat/banana skin and that how it happened…really” while all the nurses, doctors and other

An end to another year – roll on 2010!

So I’m sitting here on yet another New Years Eve with nothing to do and no cash to do it with. So this year I am going to write that cleaning blog entry to make sure that when I look back over 2010 (this time next year) I can at least see what I should have been doing and when I should have done it.

Bristol is getting to me a little. I’m not sure that I have come to love the place. It’s been almost 2 years since I moved here and to be 100% honest, it’s not Brighton. I know that Brighton is a cruel and evil mistress (or in the case of Brighton – a bad female impersonator at one of the salubrious gay dives in St James). I miss Brighton, the over priced flats, bitchy queens, bright flashing lights and even the evil seagulls (Monkey still has waking nightmares about a Brighton Seagull swooping down and attacking him.). So the big question is why don’t we move back to Brighton? Well sadly the biggest reason is the cost of renting/buying a house. We have been looking into getting a flat and settling down (buying chince from Habitat and possibly indulging in the Futon Shop’s ‘are we mad’ sale – which happens every other day!) Sadly for this reason Brighton is out of the question (well apart from when I make my money in the international tofu market). So what is next for me and the Monkey, well we could be looking to make our move up North.

I have already started to look for a new job, which is harder than it seams, I am also booking my first set of driving lessons once I have my provisional licence back. So as we look northward, I start to wonder what the last 10 years of my life I have managed to achieve. I have made some solid friendships (Christa Martin, Andrew Henderson, Claire Potter, Elizabeth Guthrie and others all of whom I know I could always chew the greater part of an ear off if I ever needed it) I have travelled, named a dildo or three and even seen a small Japanese gent shove snooker balls up his arse; but what have I done? I always imagined that I would have seen more of the world, completed the list of 10 things I wanted to do before I turned 30 (Sadly I have done none of it!) Although I have to admit that the best thing for me has been meeting Monkey (If you want to see who I first met him check out this link – http://tinyurl.com/ycw3m5v)

With 2010 now only moments away I have to stop and think about what I want 2010 to bring for me. Well the biggest bit has to be that I want to meet more people – Something that both Monkey and I have out is that Bristol isn’t a great place to meet new people. The ‘Gay’ mile of Bristol is miles away and from what I here, is more like the Bulldog in Brighton (those that live in Brighton will understand what I mean) so how do you make new friends with very little cash – not that I’m saying that all my other friends are a financial drain (well apart from the odd on or two). Well I am going to have to think about that one? I am going to leave it there for the moment – I need to go away and think about what I want from this year, and how I can achieve it.

So goodnight from me and it’s goodnight from ‘im too.

SF xxx

More posts please…

Well just a very quick post – will get something up soon. I am still surprised at the my most popular post on my site is all about my trip to Berlin in my last job (well ok Im not that surprised!)

Will write more very soon

SF xxx

Normal service will resume shortly

I have to admit that this blog is been a little neglected over the past few days no weeks no months; which has a lot to do with the fact that I am a lazy bugger and would rather watch the QVC special on Christmas Decoupage with the wonderful Dawn Bibby (Monkey has already signed me up to the official email, well it beats being told that women are not satisfied with the size of my penis but if I give them my bank details they are willing to send me $84,675,723.87)

So what has happened in the last (can it really be) almost 9 months, well not a huge amount – have expanded a little around the waste, have become an uncle *again* (my god can’t my sister keep her legs closed for more that 5 minuets?), been to Heather Mills house, purchased not 1 but 2 fish tanks (filled with plants and fish) and I have started to look *again* at were I want my life to go.

So I will do another post soon and give you a more up to date post…

I really will…

Honest…

And remember that the world is your fruity lobster..

SF xxx