Berlin (or watching a man shove balls up his arse)

Well it’s been a long time coming but its here at last the latest installment from Shocking Fish. The last few months have been rather hectic. Venus in Berlin and Erotica in London all of which I have had to plan for (but more about that later!). There is also another milestone that I have reached, its been over a year of me blogging – and, yes I know that my posts haven’t been daily as some peoples but I’m a very busy bloke at the moment (he says staring into space and humming to himself) with much to do, people to see, places to go…

Berlin was a freak fest just waiting to happen. With over 2 month of planning and many sleepless nights we finally departed for Berlin (with all the stuff that we needed for our stand being sent by lorry and with me wondering if it would turn up or weather it would – like most luggage – end up somewhere else, or even worse get mixed up and I would end up with the display for some one else – knowing my luck nuns or orphans.) and headed for the orange glow that is easyjet. I have to admit that I have never been on an easy jet plane and most of what I know has come from Airport (the ITV show that shows a fly on the wall look at the EasyJet group) so I was expecting delays and missed flights, but what I got was plain sailing (or should that be flying) and we arrived in Berlin on time and with all my luggage (darn and there was me hoping for a nun or orphan in stead of my luggage).

The Hotel that my boss was staying at was infact a craphole of a place, and the only reason that we where not staying at the same place was due to a small problem that the hotel didn’t have any rooms (what a pity) so we (me and my manager) had to stay in a 4 star hotel in suites (they up graded us because I was a lovely gentleman – my grandmother would be proud). The set up day for Berlin was rather nevous for me I had arranged that all the pallets of stuff would be delivered to our stand and when we parked the car at the venue I has starting to panic – but because I am a wonderful and skilled individual (*giggle*) all was there and on time (well that is German effisency for you!). I took over 8 hours to set the stand up but in the end it did look rather cool (until we looked at other peoples stands – they had put a lot of effort and cash into the stands and ours was a spend as little cash as possible affair.).

The first day was knackering, the Venus Fair opened at 11am and closed at 10pm, as it was the trade day (the people who we wanted to deal with) I had a half hour brake and staeted to look around – O M G – There was one stall run by a company from Japan which was extreme water sports (and we are not talking wake boarding or water skiing here) and very odd gay porn. Well it would be rude not too watch wouldn’t it! A small bloke walked onto the stand and took off his dressing gown and started to put snooker ball up his arse. Well Im sure you would expect me to turn away in moral disgust – but dear reader I continued to watch , for you, understand. He then produced a plate and popped each ball out onto the plate….