How to say goodbye – but with style (or lack of it!)

Today is my last day at work, I have spent the last 3 years here and will miss every single person. So I sent an email to everyone telling them my inner thoughts. It went like this…

Hello Everyone

 

(a crappy youtube link to help you get in the mood! – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECJLH4onZk)

 

As this is the last day that EVERYONE is going to be around, I just wanted to say that it has been a pleasure (most of the time) working with each and every one at Apollo (well almost everyone). It has been a great learning experience and I have come to think of things that many would find abnormal and depraved as being normal and run of the mill. I will miss walking into the sales office and calling Sarah a c*nt and making sexually surjestive hand gestures towards Su and Matt. I will miss the Silver fox and the work shy lollygagger – sorry I mean Dex - in the whorehouse warehouse. I will miss having an office filled with sex toy fumes that may result in a premature death and a lowered sperm count (oh what the heck, I’m not going to spread my genes around) I will miss working from 8am until late each day for pennies and the odd (in some cases very odd) sample sex toy. I will miss Tony and his Cornish pasty shoes. I will miss Simon and his emails (well ok not all his emails). I will miss Darren and Geoff as well. I consider each of you to be a friend acquaintance and would at least think about not calling the police if I bumped into you again.  

 

I have enjoyed my time at Apollo and know that I will miss working in an office that is filled with love/STD’s/shit/sex toy fumes (delete as applicable). So please raise your glass/special brew can/box of wine/cold cup of coffee (delete as applicable) and toast to the best 3 years of my life*

 

Loads of love

 

Paul

 

*Terms and conditions apply. The statement that has been written may not be the statement that was going through my head at the time, but as I didn’t want to write ‘Die,die, you must all die’ whilst making a machine gun noise, I thought that it would be better to put this. This statement is not redeemable at any good book stores but it will get you a soapy tit wank from a cheap Russian hooker down by Shoreham docks.