Well OK to be honnest this isn’t going to be a long post – more an excuse to show a really kool (see as I am now over 30 I intend using ‘cool’ in a post modern ironic kina way) music video (please note that this deals with adult themes and sexually sergestive themes as well – great bring it on!)
It has become rather interesting, how, since my 30th Birthday, I have started to notice the simple joys in life. I have just returned from seeing the rather good Bourne Ultimatum; and in the 20 minuets before the film started (as is always the case) there came on an advert for some of the services and promotions that the cinema do – the one that caught my eye (and also monkey’s) was for the silver screen service (its aimed at the more mature market) which gave you not only a classic film but also a cup of tea (served in a teapot!) and a selection of busicuts. At this point I realised that I wanted that – a classic film and a rather nice cup’o tea – come on who wouldn’t!
I also have to laugh at the wonderful Christa (www.christavswonderwoman.wordpress.com) yes she may be moving to a better place – and starting all over again! BUT.. she will also be missing this years panto at the Brighton Pavillion Thetre – and with this years panto being cinderella staring ONLY the filthy ladies off the telly – yes Kim and Aggie as the ugly sisters and the wonderful dave Lynn as the wicked step mother who has the upper hand now (well ok – she will probably be skiing and riding santa’s sley (fanar fanar!) – curses!
Word to ya mom I came to drop bombs (sorry)
SF xxx
Well its done – its all over! no more cutting out cocks or looking at lady bits (eewww! thats where germs come from acording to a close personal friend). The catalogue is finnished, its about 4 weeks late; having had a bollocking from my boss that the thing is hugly late and at current costings its about £3,000 over budget. The fucker is finnished and I won’t have to deal with nude, rude bits until this time next year.
So you all you people who want more regular updates from me I will be able to please you…
Oiled up and ready for love
SF xxx
As I sit here, I have around 300 dildos and vibrators scattered around my office (or should that be – wait for it – its a good’un – orafice) and to be really honnest, they all do the same thing and are made in china, using sweat shop labour. I would like to be the first one in the Adult industry to say – you only need one! If you have more than 3 you have a problem, a slack and gaping problem. So from someone in the adult industry I present to you the must haves and how mush you should be paying for it!
Jessica Rabbit Platinum - The classic rabbit vibe but better, great for an evening of intimate self pleasure made from silicone and waterproof. Great product. RRP 49.95 – but you should be paying between 29.95 – 34.95. anything more than that and it would be paying too much…
As the review puts it “The Classic Jessica Rabbit just got better. The Jessica Rabbit Platinum comes with dual shaft rotation and seven speed intensities. There is also seven different vibration settings for the clit stimulating ears. The waterproof Jessica Rabbit Platinum is one of the most fabulous things a girl can own. Made from soft silicone this tool is designed solely with pleasure in mind. For the woman who knows exactly what she wants! 4 x AAA batteries required (not included.) – as done by the fantastic wondy woman.
So if you want to buy a vibe then get this one.
This has nothing to do with the post below, but in order to cheer up, those people out there who are feeling sad, I proudly present for your amusement this photo. We are taking on a new range of male underwear and in order to make sure that the stuff wouldn’t frey at the crotch, we *forced* our sales exec into one of the numbers. Now male underwear is never usually sexy, and this photo proves the point. When worn on the out side of your clothes you can only get away with it if you are a super hero or have special needs. I feel that this image makes him look like a special needs version of superman! Ah bless..
I have become a gaming widower – final fantasy 12 came out last friday and todate Monkey has spent over 24 hours playing the game…
I would like to say that it is affecting our relationship but it does get him out of my hair and keeps him amused (so its not all bad!) but the only problem is that the bugger then wont let me watch the TV. I am considering the best course of action but until then the status quo shall remain. I would greatly appresiate the help that the interweb people could bring to this situation (and the person who gives the best answer will win a box full of sex toys – unused ones at that)
So stick your beak into someone elses problems and see what you can do to help me and win your self a bucket full O sex toys.
Word out to the world
SF xxx
I do find it hard to belive that only a few short years ago I was winging about how crap my life was – single, poorly paid job, living in Worthing blah blah blah! Well what can I say apart from – BLOODY HELL – I maybe on an upward slope in the whole carer game, although I am well awear that the whole roller coaster nature of life will mean that at some point I will have to have a down point again – though I am hoping it will be when I am 98 and due to my death. The job is fantastic, I even enjoy working over time and love the fact that no one bats an eyelid at the fact that I have a selection of vibrators and butt plugs on my desk (and before you ask no I haven’t used any of them…) and can rutenly get away with sending my bosses pictures of naked people and the odd swear word (although its not part of the job, it is fun to do).
Monkey and I (now one is sounding far to much like the queen) will be moving into the new flat in 10 days time – a chichi part of Hove that even have sea views – and not the crane your head out of the window and squint type of view, but a real view of the sea! The flat even has a balconey – I can now live out my dreams of being repunsel (although I may have to grow my back/nassel/toe hair* a little longer as the stuff on my head has all but gone)
There will be a warming in party – although it may be more a ‘help unpack and assemble flat pack furniture’ affair rather than the typical Ferrero Roche and Blue Nun shindig that most of you are familiar with.
Word out
SF xxx
*delete as applicable
What can I say – a surpose that a sorry wont do. Yes I know that I keep on saying that I will publish on the site every week and it ends up being more like once in a blue moon; but Ive been busy (The excuse that it was eaten by the dog won’t work!). So here I am the last one in the office (or should that be oraface) and still working – maybe because Im a sad git.
So what has been happening in the strange world of Mr Fish – well to start with I and the most noble of northern monkeys have set the date for us moving in together – it shall be the beginging of september – he has already commented that it may well be september of 2008 if I have my way about it. Now Im sure that this has me sounding like I dont want to move in with him – nothing could be further from the truth (but then again what is truth?) it has more to do with the fact that we need to save at least 2 months worth of rent before we move in – and even then we still have things like a sofa. fridge, plasma tv and chocolate fondu set to buy before I will be willing to co-habit with the hairy one. So far I have a grand total of 500 quid – which in dollars is about 825 – no were near enough – we need at least 2500 (to include deposit, first months rent, agency fees etc…) which at the rate of saving should only take 4 months – notice how his nibs is saying that he cant save as much as me – poppy cock that what I say.
So where to live – well there are so many places to chose from like the north lanes or the north lanes or the lanes in the north. See this is another small problem Monkey likes hove and I like the north lanes (and as the majority bread winner I should have the right to sulk until we do what I want – that how grown ups do it!). I have to be close to a staion – and seeing as I plan to move jobs soon (current work is great but I am at the top of the tree and very unlikly to get a pay rise in january – and for all the extra hours that I am doing is it worth it?) London beccons me and the prospect of earning over 50K a year is too great not to pass up – think of all the people who would suck up to me more!
Monkey has become hooked on DVD box sets – we have all 8 released seasons of the simpsons, 3 of the 7 seasons of Star Trek The Next Generation, and 1 of Murder She Wrote (he is convinced that Jessica Fletture is the one who murders every one and then blames it on other people! He has a point, I would never invite her to a party – well… maybe… but only if Monkey get on my nerves.)
I am having to man a stall at a swingers weekend tomorow (for more information see www.festivalofbliss.com ) the thought of sweaty, naked, middleaged, hairy, flabby people shouldn’t be a turn on – and Im glad to say that after going yesterday and having to watch some poor woman being touched in a “Groping Booth” it isn’t (although if I stay there too long will I develope Stockholm Syndrome and start empathising with my “captures”. I shall try a write something next week – although I may be in a state of shock and be unable to form cohesive sentences (nothing new there then?).
Its now only a few weeks until I turn 29 – Im sure there is a best before date on me some where – although knowing my luck it would have been some point back in the mid 90’s. So have I managed to sort my life out – start a pension, get a morgage and all the other things that you are surposed to have do by now – ? – Have I fuck! I currently haven’t even thought about a pention and the least that can be said about a morgage the better! So I now aim to have thought about those things before I turn 50! As my mother always says “Put off today what you can do in a few years time!”
More when I can be arsed
SF
xxx
PS – the wonderful Disco a go go is in town – horray!
