Well just a very quick post – will get something up soon. I am still surprised at the my most popular post on my site is all about my trip to Berlin in my last job (well ok Im not that surprised!)

Will write more very soon

SF xxx

I have to admit that this blog is been a little neglected over the past few days no weeks no months; which has a lot to do with the fact that I am a lazy bugger and would rather watch the QVC special on Christmas Decoupage with the wonderful Dawn Bibby (Monkey has already signed me up to the official email, well it beats being told that women are not satisfied with the size of my penis but if I give them my bank details they are willing to send me $84,675,723.87)

So what has happened in the last (can it really be) almost 9 months, well not a huge amount – have expanded a little around the waste, have become an uncle *again* (my god can’t my sister keep her legs closed for more that 5 minuets?), been to Heather Mills house, purchased not 1 but 2 fish tanks (filled with plants and fish) and I have started to look *again* at were I want my life to go.

So I will do another post soon and give you a more up to date post…

I really will…

Honest…

And remember that the world is your fruity lobster..

SF xxx

Well bugger me if it’s not almost chrimbo again. Where has the year gone? This time last year I was in Brighton selling sex toys and feeling low, this year I am selling smoothies and bitching about Bristol!

What will next year have in store for me?

Tick Tock! Times running out

SF xxx

Ok I have been a bad boy (sadly not in a perverse or naughty way) I haven’t been paying much attention to you (the few remaining readers of this blog!). So what has been happening in my life lately, well to be honest I am like a contented cat sitting by the fire having his chin stroked (not the best analogy but it works rather well) and I feel that I am really enjoying my job and Monkey is being loving a warm (I feel that this could just be a rouse and he is secretly planning to sell me via the interweb to an oligarch, possibly a blind, incontinent not very wealthy one but I’m sure that it won’t stop him!).

It has been almost 4 years since my little Monkey changed my life. In that time I have had to make tea more than ever and his constant demands for beer/tea/white bread/chippies (delete as applicable) would for many people be a breaking point. I sadly have self-esteem issues*which may be the only reason why I am still with him. I have put on about 2 stone since I have been with him; it’s mostly (well nearly all, OK all!) fat and is going to be a bugger to try and remove. I am truly happy and having looked back at my blog when I first started, the improvement has been huge (go on take a look and laugh at my feeble attempts at dating and battles with (mild) depression. It may well cheer yourself up, be honest we all enjoy taking the piss out of those less fortunate then ourselves!) I am in a happy place!

However I do feel that I am not being challenged at the moment and I am starting to get itchy feet – so next year could see changes again! I will try a blog on a more regular event to keep up posted on all that is happening in the wonderful world of shocking fish.

Whores will have their trinkets

SF xxx

*no I don’t – no REALLY I don’t.

Where has the year gone? The last time I looked it was January and I was looking for a new job. Now that I have a new job and a rather cheaper home (some good some bad!) what on earth will next year do to me?

Well OK to be honnest this isn’t going to be a long post – more an excuse to show a really kool (see as I am now over 30 I intend using ‘cool’ in a post modern ironic kina way) music video (please note that this deals with adult themes and sexually sergestive themes as well – great bring it on!)

Hello, how have you been?

I know that I have been away for a while but if you let me explain I’m sure that you will forgive me (or maybe not!) So here I am in Bristol, so good they named it…once.

OK I have now moved up from Brighton to the mythical city of Bristol (you will be pleased to note that since I have moved up here Bristol has experienced a mini crime wave of stabbings and ‘vile gays in bushes’, honest it has NOTHING to do with me!) The new job is going well and I have now found a soul mate or two in the lovely (read that is cantankerous and bitchy) Lauren (think Wednesday Addams and you almost have her!), beautiful Helen (what she can do with paper mashie would make your eyes water), Caroline (pirate pete to her friends) and all the other freaks and weirdo’s that I have to work with. The job is very similar to the last one (sans the dildos and lube and replaced with Hot Chocolate and Cookies) sadly as a vegan I can’t eat the Cookies (don’t worry Monkey has now put on about half a stone due to my feeder tendencies and we may well be feasting on suckling Monkey come Christmas) but I get to feed frappes (or fraps as we in the trade like to call them!) to everyone else. Those who have worked with me will know what I am like (feeder? who, me?) and a warehouse filled with cookies and hot chocolate will only mean that by the time I leave I’m sure most people will have put on at least 2 stone!

So what about the new flat? Well we live in a place that Monkey refers to as ‘the gay balamory flats’ which to be honest they are a little like. The flat also has a nasty infestation of ‘Gayz’ as we homos like to call them. It may well be the mythical place that ‘Gayz’ come to die (or should that be ‘dye’) and Monkey has already started to stalk the possible ‘Gayz’ in the flat below (they like to wear very little while parading about their front room – which when you consider that they are on the ground floor over looking the road is quite ‘Gayz’) We have 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms (I know, I now have no excuse for not having a shower or bath!) but sadly it does have a down side (well something that Monkey doesn’t like) the Kitchen is in the same room as the living room which is a big downer for him (although he likes the fact that he gets his cups of tea quicker than before.) The move from the old flat was quite heartbreaking, it was the first flat that I had ever been proud to invite people round too – well if you had seen the main living room with is 18ft ceiling and balcony with sea views – you would under stand. I didn’t become a ‘grumpy git’ during the move – which as Monkey was going to leave me on the side of the road if I pissed him off, was quite a relief. It sill amazes me that we had so much tat in the old flat (we binned 18 bags of rubbish – and I mean rubbish). I will miss Brighton, but I know that someday we will go back (although not until we can afford to live their!)

So what does Bristol have in store for me? Well seeing as it has rained for most of this month and it looks like it will keep raining for the foreseeable future (how long is a cubit? I may need to build an ark!) So my Big Brizzel adventure begins here!

With delusions of grandeur

SF xxx

PS Thanks to Christa for getting me hooked on Sia

Today is my last day at work, I have spent the last 3 years here and will miss every single person. So I sent an email to everyone telling them my inner thoughts. It went like this…

I have a new job!