‘Balls’, ‘Arse’ and the dangers of ice…

10 01 2010

I know that I only have myself to blame for this; but I do often wonder the sort of low level scum that I am attracting to my blog (apart from you – of course!). So looking at the search terms that people have used to get to this low rent ‘gin-joint’ include:

ball up the arse,  balls up arse,  what does shallow end of the gene pool mean?,  penis size gene pool,  balls in arse

I am thinking that ‘Balls’ is the main reason that people are coming here and I feel such a fraud for not have any on offer, sorry! If you have come here looking for shoving balls up your arse – please don’t – do you really want to end up in casualty at 10:45pm try to explain how it happened “Well…erm… I was naked and cleaning my flat, when… I slipped on a sock/cat/banana skin and that how it happened…really” while all the nurses, doctors and other members of staff gather round to see what type of fool would do such a thing – how ever you may end up in the lancet as an interesting case study, won’t that be fun.

So how has 2010 be for me so far? Well to be honest rather crappy, with all the snow and ice around I managed to slip and take a rather nasty tumble near to the local Tesco – sadly I wasn’t naked at the time…honest. So after spending the whole day at work moaning like I had my arm savaged by rabid pit-bulls I managed to get home and beg Monkey to take me to the local walk-in NHS centre. After seeing the nurse I was told that I had done ‘major damage’ to the soft tissue in my arm. At this point the following three points went through my head (yes in this order)

1 – God I may never be able to play the violin?

2 – I wonder if I will need a wheelchair?

3 – Did I really just think that I would need a wheelchair?

First off, I have never had the inclination to play the violin, secondly, why did I think I would need a wheelchair? Although I did like the third though that told me off for the second thought, classy am I. As it turns out ‘Major damage’ to the soft tissue will only take about 2 weeks to heal, so my life in some sort of iron lung and ending up as a daytime movie are a little premature to say the least.

So if I do need to have my arm removed and replaced with a hook/feather duster/attachment for getting stones out of horse’s shoes I will let you know.

You’ve been a wonderful audience – Good Night

SF xxx

P.S I can’t believe that I have been blogging since 2004. Who would have thought it?

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2 responses

11 01 2010
Grace « Groupie in Wondyland

[…] Thankfully I’m currently tumble free. […]

25 01 2010
Chica

You should change that tag to ‘Just plain hilarious’. I know I shouldn’t really laugh at your misfortune and hope you’re all mended up, but this did make me laugh!

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