What happened to 2012?

20 01 2013

So what happened to 2012? I do have a rather good excuse; well, let’s be honest, the truth may have more to do with the fact that I’m a lazy, slovenly old queen (I admit it I’m old – gay years like dog years are in multiples of 7 – I will be turning 252 at my next birthday!). I have, in fact, been doing my professional diploma in marketing via the CIM. So I have been working… slightly… well some times… OK in a huge panic right at the end of the assessment deadline (why do you thing I’m writing this? I have project work I need to get finished).

So what Read the rest of this entry »


An end to another year – roll on 2010!

31 12 2009

So I’m sitting here on yet another New Years Eve with nothing to do and no cash to do it with. So this year I am going to write that cleaning blog entry to make sure that when I look back over 2010 (this time next year) I can at least see what I should have been doing and when I should have done it.

Bristol is getting to me a little. I’m not sure that I have come to love the place. It’s been almost 2 years since I moved here and to be 100% honest, it’s not Brighton. I know that Brighton is a cruel and evil mistress (or in the case of Brighton – a bad female impersonator at one of the salubrious gay dives in St James). I miss Brighton, the over priced flats, bitchy queens, bright flashing lights and even the evil seagulls (Monkey still has waking nightmares about a Brighton Seagull swooping down and attacking him.). So the big question is why don’t we move back to Brighton? Well sadly the biggest reason is the cost of renting/buying a house. We have been looking into getting a flat and settling down (buying chince from Habitat and possibly indulging in the Futon Shop’s ‘are we mad’ sale – which happens every other day!) Sadly for this reason Brighton is out of the question (well apart from when I make my money in the international tofu market). So what is next for me and the Monkey, well we could be looking to make our move up North.

I have already started to look for a new job, which is harder than it seams, I am also booking my first set of driving lessons once I have my provisional licence back. So as we look northward, I start to wonder what the last 10 years of my life I have managed to achieve. I have made some solid friendships (Christa Martin, Andrew Henderson, Claire Potter, Elizabeth Guthrie and others all of whom I know I could always chew the greater part of an ear off if I ever needed it) I have travelled, named a dildo or three and even seen a small Japanese gent shove snooker balls up his arse; but what have I done? I always imagined that I would have seen more of the world, completed the list of 10 things I wanted to do before I turned 30 (Sadly I have done none of it!) Although I have to admit that the best thing for me has been meeting Monkey (If you want to see who I first met him check out this link – http://tinyurl.com/ycw3m5v)

With 2010 now only moments away I have to stop and think about what I want 2010 to bring for me. Well the biggest bit has to be that I want to meet more people – Something that both Monkey and I have out is that Bristol isn’t a great place to meet new people. The ‘Gay’ mile of Bristol is miles away and from what I here, is more like the Bulldog in Brighton (those that live in Brighton will understand what I mean) so how do you make new friends with very little cash – not that I’m saying that all my other friends are a financial drain (well apart from the odd on or two). Well I am going to have to think about that one? I am going to leave it there for the moment – I need to go away and think about what I want from this year, and how I can achieve it.

So goodnight from me and it’s goodnight from ‘im too.

SF xxx

New Year – almost new me!

10 01 2008

Could this be the year that I finally sort out my life? Well if things go according to plan, then maybe? This year will see some major changes to the way that I have been living my life. I am not going to tempt fate and tell you all about (the dear sweet and close friends of the interweb.) what I will be doing. So here goes; just a few of the things that I shall be sorting out this year!


This is the year that I am going to make my mark on the world. But, what to do? Do I seek world domination? I would need a hollowed out volcano and a white pusrsen to be able to do this. I doubt weather ebay would have either of those things. What about a chart number 1. Well come off it, it’s not difficult to do; just look at what is in the current chart! I shall also have to loose a little *cough* of the excess weight that I have put on over the last year *cough*. I need to move on from the job that has taught me more than any other job I have had the pleasure to do; mostly about huge black/green/tan/blue rubber cocks. It has been a great experience but I do need to move on…

I will also be doing some huge, new and rather unexpected things during the year! Let’s just say that it will involve me and the monkey moving house at least three times. That is all I will tell you for the time being as, if I do tell you, I am sure to bugger up the whole thing.


I must become more beautiful. I know that it’s highly unlikely to happen. I don’t take a good photo. You just have to look through the rouge’s gallery that is my facebook account. I have a look of the strange bloke that your mother warned you not to talk to when you where a kid. So plastic surgery is the only option. I’m thinking about maybe a chin tuck, liposuction, get rid of the bags under the eyes, fuck it; maybe a total body swap. I also recon that I need to start some sort of exercise régime, something that is fun *shudder* and wouldn’t force me to wear spandex (not a pleasant thought).

Get one!


Oh god! Am I going to be forced to join the ghetto that is the gay community? I would rather kiss David Cameron’s arse! Mmmm maybe I should join a book club or craft circle. The local Starbucks has a craft evening on a Thursday. Wow! I could make my own cards like they do on QVC – can I hear Christmas decoupage anyone?


So what can I do to become greener? I would like to get a wormary. We recycle about 69% of all our waste, so maybe I need to look at what I am buying – maybe cut out the shit that I buy. Come on it we all do it.


Get some. I really need to sort out how I spend the pittance that I currently get. Maybe get me a less expensive boyfriend; I could sell him via the small ads.

Pets and Pet Equipment
NORTHERN MONKEY – One slightly soiled Northern Monkey for sale. Good working order will demand big cups of tea, but with a few light beatings, you will get used to his demands. Almost house trained, will require news paper to be laid down over the floor. £15 O.N.O Call Paul on 01237 465035


Well I still have some big news to tell – but I can’t until I know – but keep watching this space


Get some


Watch this space!

So with a few little hints as to how my life will be playing out over the next few months and weeks, I do have to say that things do change (and I hope that this year they are for the best!)

Bingo Bango Bongo

Sf xxx