Let’s talk about sex (but not in front of the kids!…)

7 04 2010

A few weeks ago a tweet caught my eye, it was from someone who was trying to drum up signatures to a petition regarding the new and improved ‘compulsory’ sex education lessons for children in UK schools from the age of five. I clicked on the link; as soon as I had I knew that I would have to do a blog about it…

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Two days in a row? Has hell frozen over?

1 09 2008

Well OK to be honnest this isn’t going to be a long post – more an excuse to show a really kool (see as I am now over 30 I intend using ‘cool’ in a post modern ironic kina way) music video (please note that this deals with adult themes and sexually sergestive themes as well – great bring it on!)

The joys of age!

26 08 2007

It has become rather interesting, how, since my 30th Birthday, I have started to notice the simple joys in life. I have just returned from seeing the rather good Bourne Ultimatum; and in the 20 minuets before the film started (as is always the case) there came on an advert for some of the services and promotions that the cinema do – the one that caught my eye (and also monkey’s) was for the silver screen service (its aimed at the more mature market) which gave you not only a classic film but also a cup of tea (served in a teapot!) and a selection of busicuts. At this point I realised that I wanted that – a classic film and a rather nice cup’o tea – come on who wouldn’t!

I also have to laugh at the wonderful Christa (www.christavswonderwoman.wordpress.com) yes she may be moving to a better place – and starting all over again! BUT.. she will also be missing this years panto at the Brighton Pavillion Thetre – and with this years panto being cinderella staring ONLY the filthy ladies off the telly – yes Kim and Aggie as the ugly sisters and the wonderful dave Lynn as the wicked step mother who has the upper hand now (well ok – she will probably be skiing and riding santa’s sley (fanar fanar!) – curses!

Word to ya mom I came to drop bombs (sorry)

 SF xxx

Horray! Its over! No more cocks!!

10 07 2007

Well its done – its all over! no more cutting out cocks or looking at lady bits (eewww! thats where germs come from acording to a close personal friend). The catalogue is finnished, its about 4 weeks late; having had a bollocking from my boss that the thing is hugly late and at current costings its about £3,000 over budget. The fucker is finnished and I won’t have to deal with nude, rude bits until this time next year.

 So you all you people who want more regular updates from me I will be able to please you…

 Oiled up and ready for love

 SF xxx

Can you ever have too many cocks?

14 06 2007

As I sit here, I have around 300 dildos and vibrators scattered around my office (or should that be – wait for it – its a good’un – orafice) and to be really honnest, they all do the same thing and are made in china, using sweat shop labour. I would like to be the first one in the Adult industry to say – you only need one! If you have more than 3 you have a problem, a slack and gaping problem. So from someone in the adult industry I present to you the must haves and how mush you should be paying for it!


 Jessica Rabbit Platinum – The classic rabbit vibe but better, great for an evening of intimate self pleasure made from silicone and waterproof. Great product. RRP 49.95 – but you should be paying between 29.95 – 34.95. anything more than that and it would be paying too much…

As the review puts it “The Classic Jessica Rabbit just got better. The Jessica Rabbit Platinum comes with dual shaft rotation and seven speed intensities. There is also seven different vibration settings for the clit stimulating ears. The waterproof Jessica Rabbit Platinum is one of the most fabulous things a girl can own. Made from soft silicone this tool is designed solely with pleasure in mind. For the woman who knows exactly what she wants! 4 x AAA batteries required (not included.) – as done by the fantastic wondy woman.

So if you want to buy a vibe then get this one.

Is it a bird, Is it a plane…

18 05 2007

has nothinf to do with the post…

This has nothing to do with the post below, but in order to cheer up, those people out there who are feeling sad, I proudly present for your amusement this photo. We are taking on a new range of male underwear and in order to make sure that the stuff wouldn’t frey at the crotch, we *forced* our sales exec into one of the numbers. Now male underwear is never usually sexy, and this photo proves the point. When worn on the out side of your clothes you can only get away with it if you are a super hero or have special needs. I feel that this image makes him look like a special needs version of superman! Ah bless..

Paul Loves Monkey – Monkey loves Final Fantasy 12

2 03 2007

I have become a gaming widower – final fantasy 12 came out last friday and todate Monkey has spent over 24 hours playing the game…

I would like to say that it is affecting our relationship but it does get him out of my hair and keeps him amused (so its not all bad!) but the only problem is that the bugger then wont let me watch the TV. I am considering the best course of action but until then the status quo shall remain. I would greatly appresiate the help that the interweb people could bring to this situation (and the person who gives the best answer will win a box full of sex toys – unused ones at that)

So stick your beak into someone elses problems and see what you can do to help me and win your self a bucket full O sex toys.

Word out to the world

SF xxx