Is it a bird, Is it a plane…

18 05 2007

has nothinf to do with the post…

This has nothing to do with the post below, but in order to cheer up, those people out there who are feeling sad, I proudly present for your amusement this photo. We are taking on a new range of male underwear and in order to make sure that the stuff wouldn’t frey at the crotch, we *forced* our sales exec into one of the numbers. Now male underwear is never usually sexy, and this photo proves the point. When worn on the out side of your clothes you can only get away with it if you are a super hero or have special needs. I feel that this image makes him look like a special needs version of superman! Ah bless..

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One of those days

22 02 2007

Its been one of those days – long and hard – rather like my job (and some of the products that I am working with at the moment!). It all has to do with the fact that I am having to start a new catalogue from scratch – and its a biggie 230 pages and in multipul languages as well. EVIL

A massive word up to the delightful Wondy Woman – who has placed a picture of moi on her blog (sadly I have what appears to be the world’s biggest double chin – curse the evil double chin) Thanks for that. But the best thing so far this week was discovering that Habitat’s new childrens range has a mirror designed by one of the greatest actresses ever to grace our screens – I am talking of the one and only Miss Piggy. I want one!

With Love to the little people

SF xxx





All work and no play makes paul a dull boy

1 02 2007

I have to be honnest with you people out on the web – my working life at the moment is starting to get me down a little. I love the people and the job and I know that this sounds a little silly to say but I am not that happy at the moment. I work load is getting to me and I know that I could find a job that pays shit loads more than this one, so why am I still here? The co workers are great (see the image above of the sales team sampling a selection of the “quality?” lingerie that we may sell – the sales manager is the one in the green and the underling who is suckling at the teat of sales is in the rather fetching pink two peice)

I know that I have become stuck in a rut – get up go to work, work, go home eat and go to bed. I think I need to start living a little more – but this ofcourse takes cash and at the moment thats the one thing that I dont have. The Monkey and I are looking to buy a place (looking is the oprative word at the moment as with house prices in Brighton starting at around the 300,000 pound mark – 585,000 US Dollars – for a 2 bed house/flat will we ever have the cash for a place?)

I am also starting to question what I want in life – it has to be said that I do have an idea as to why I am having all these thoughts at the moment – in less than 6 months time I turn the ripe old age of 30 – monkey has already started to point it out with relish at my impending landmark age turning. *curse him and his 3 years younger than me age*

On a rather better note if any UK based people are reading this – if you would like to become a product tester (if you have no idea what type of products I sell just read a few of the post prior to this) then let me know – of course you have to be over the age of 18 and live in the UK – the email to contact is paul(the “at” sign)apollosales.co.uk





The question we all wanted answered

30 11 2005

During my stay at Berlin we encountered a question that has vexed man for yearsThe question was this – How Big Is Too Big?

The answer is maybe its too big!

Yes it’s a giant black dildo that is being lovingly modeled by my manager – its over 2 ft high and the same with as most men’s thighs. If you want to know the woman in the video managed to get most of it in her! She must have had a fanny like a very large bucket!

More posts soon…





Berlin (or watching a man shove balls up his arse)

25 11 2005

Well it’s been a long time coming but its here at last the latest installment from Shocking Fish. The last few months have been rather hectic. Venus in Berlin and Erotica in London all of which I have had to plan for (but more about that later!). There is also another milestone that I have reached, its been over a year of me blogging – and, yes I know that my posts haven’t been daily as some peoples but I’m a very busy bloke at the moment (he says staring into space and humming to himself) with much to do, people to see, places to go…

Berlin was a freak fest just waiting to happen. With over 2 month of planning and many sleepless nights we finally departed for Berlin (with all the stuff that we needed for our stand being sent by lorry and with me wondering if it would turn up or weather it would – like most luggage – end up somewhere else, or even worse get mixed up and I would end up with the display for some one else – knowing my luck nuns or orphans.) and headed for the orange glow that is easyjet. I have to admit that I have never been on an easy jet plane and most of what I know has come from Airport (the ITV show that shows a fly on the wall look at the EasyJet group) so I was expecting delays and missed flights, but what I got was plain sailing (or should that be flying) and we arrived in Berlin on time and with all my luggage (darn and there was me hoping for a nun or orphan in stead of my luggage).

The Hotel that my boss was staying at was infact a craphole of a place, and the only reason that we where not staying at the same place was due to a small problem that the hotel didn’t have any rooms (what a pity) so we (me and my manager) had to stay in a 4 star hotel in suites (they up graded us because I was a lovely gentleman – my grandmother would be proud). The set up day for Berlin was rather nevous for me I had arranged that all the pallets of stuff would be delivered to our stand and when we parked the car at the venue I has starting to panic – but because I am a wonderful and skilled individual (*giggle*) all was there and on time (well that is German effisency for you!). I took over 8 hours to set the stand up but in the end it did look rather cool (until we looked at other peoples stands – they had put a lot of effort and cash into the stands and ours was a spend as little cash as possible affair.).

The first day was knackering, the Venus Fair opened at 11am and closed at 10pm, as it was the trade day (the people who we wanted to deal with) I had a half hour brake and staeted to look around – O M G – There was one stall run by a company from Japan which was extreme water sports (and we are not talking wake boarding or water skiing here) and very odd gay porn. Well it would be rude not too watch wouldn’t it! A small bloke walked onto the stand and took off his dressing gown and started to put snooker ball up his arse. Well Im sure you would expect me to turn away in moral disgust – but dear reader I continued to watch , for you, understand. He then produced a plate and popped each ball out onto the plate….

*UPDATE* This has now become the most serched for page on the whole of my blog – really worringly if you type ‘Balls in arse’ in google this post comes up as number six in the listing (go on try it!). If you are thinking about putting yopur balls up your arse – please don’t; having to go to A&E and having to explain why – although you may end up as an interesting case study in the Lancet.

SF xxx