Attack of the 50ft Sprouts

18 05 2007

sprouts

a great little game to all those people who hate sprouts all you need to do is click here and enjoy some sprout mashing fun!





Is it a bird, Is it a plane…

18 05 2007

has nothinf to do with the post…

This has nothing to do with the post below, but in order to cheer up, those people out there who are feeling sad, I proudly present for your amusement this photo. We are taking on a new range of male underwear and in order to make sure that the stuff wouldn’t frey at the crotch, we *forced* our sales exec into one of the numbers. Now male underwear is never usually sexy, and this photo proves the point. When worn on the out side of your clothes you can only get away with it if you are a super hero or have special needs. I feel that this image makes him look like a special needs version of superman! Ah bless..





All work and no play makes paul a dull boy

1 02 2007

I have to be honnest with you people out on the web – my working life at the moment is starting to get me down a little. I love the people and the job and I know that this sounds a little silly to say but I am not that happy at the moment. I work load is getting to me and I know that I could find a job that pays shit loads more than this one, so why am I still here? The co workers are great (see the image above of the sales team sampling a selection of the “quality?” lingerie that we may sell – the sales manager is the one in the green and the underling who is suckling at the teat of sales is in the rather fetching pink two peice)

I know that I have become stuck in a rut – get up go to work, work, go home eat and go to bed. I think I need to start living a little more – but this ofcourse takes cash and at the moment thats the one thing that I dont have. The Monkey and I are looking to buy a place (looking is the oprative word at the moment as with house prices in Brighton starting at around the 300,000 pound mark – 585,000 US Dollars – for a 2 bed house/flat will we ever have the cash for a place?)

I am also starting to question what I want in life – it has to be said that I do have an idea as to why I am having all these thoughts at the moment – in less than 6 months time I turn the ripe old age of 30 – monkey has already started to point it out with relish at my impending landmark age turning. *curse him and his 3 years younger than me age*

On a rather better note if any UK based people are reading this – if you would like to become a product tester (if you have no idea what type of products I sell just read a few of the post prior to this) then let me know – of course you have to be over the age of 18 and live in the UK – the email to contact is paul(the “at” sign)apollosales.co.uk





Attacked by badgers – again

15 06 2006

What can I say – a surpose that a sorry wont do. Yes I know that I keep on saying that I will publish on the site every week and it ends up being more like once in a blue moon; but Ive been busy (The excuse that it was eaten by the dog won’t work!). So here I am the last one in the office (or should that be oraface) and still working – maybe because Im a sad git.

So what has been happening in the strange world of Mr Fish – well to start with I and the most noble of northern monkeys have set the date for us moving in together – it shall be the beginging of september – he has already commented that it may well be september of 2008 if I have my way about it. Now Im sure that this has me sounding like I dont want to move in with him – nothing could be further from the truth (but then again what is truth?) it has more to do with the fact that we need to save at least 2 months worth of rent before we move in – and even then we still have things like a sofa. fridge, plasma tv and chocolate fondu set to buy before I will be willing to co-habit with the hairy one. So far I have a grand total of 500 quid – which in dollars is about 825 – no were near enough – we need at least 2500 (to include deposit, first months rent, agency fees etc…) which at the rate of saving should only take 4 months – notice how his nibs is saying that he cant save as much as me – poppy cock that what I say.

So where to live – well there are so many places to chose from like the north lanes or the north lanes or the lanes in the north. See this is another small problem Monkey likes hove and I like the north lanes (and as the majority bread winner I should have the right to sulk until we do what I want – that how grown ups do it!). I have to be close to a staion – and seeing as I plan to move jobs soon (current work is great but I am at the top of the tree and very unlikly to get a pay rise in january – and for all the extra hours that I am doing is it worth it?) London beccons me and the prospect of earning over 50K a year is too great not to pass up – think of all the people who would suck up to me more!

Monkey has become hooked on DVD box sets – we have all 8 released seasons of the simpsons, 3 of the 7 seasons of Star Trek The Next Generation, and 1 of Murder She Wrote (he is convinced that Jessica Fletture is the one who murders every one and then blames it on other people! He has a point, I would never invite her to a party – well… maybe… but only if Monkey get on my nerves.)

I am having to man a stall at a swingers weekend tomorow (for more information see www.festivalofbliss.com ) the thought of sweaty, naked, middleaged, hairy, flabby people shouldn’t be a turn on – and Im glad to say that after going yesterday and having to watch some poor woman being touched in a “Groping Booth” it isn’t (although if I stay there too long will I develope Stockholm Syndrome and start empathising with my “captures”. I shall try a write something next week – although I may be in a state of shock and be unable to form cohesive sentences (nothing new there then?).

Its now only a few weeks until I turn 29 – Im sure there is a best before date on me some where – although knowing my luck it would have been some point back in the mid 90’s. So have I managed to sort my life out – start a pension, get a morgage and all the other things that you are surposed to have do by now – ? – Have I fuck! I currently haven’t even thought about a pention and the least that can be said about a morgage the better! So I now aim to have thought about those things before I turn 50! As my mother always says “Put off today what you can do in a few years time!”

More when I can be arsed

SF

xxx

PS – the wonderful Disco a go go is in town – horray!





The question we all wanted answered

30 11 2005

During my stay at Berlin we encountered a question that has vexed man for yearsThe question was this – How Big Is Too Big?

The answer is maybe its too big!

Yes it’s a giant black dildo that is being lovingly modeled by my manager – its over 2 ft high and the same with as most men’s thighs. If you want to know the woman in the video managed to get most of it in her! She must have had a fanny like a very large bucket!

More posts soon…





Berlin (or watching a man shove balls up his arse)

25 11 2005

Well it’s been a long time coming but its here at last the latest installment from Shocking Fish. The last few months have been rather hectic. Venus in Berlin and Erotica in London all of which I have had to plan for (but more about that later!). There is also another milestone that I have reached, its been over a year of me blogging – and, yes I know that my posts haven’t been daily as some peoples but I’m a very busy bloke at the moment (he says staring into space and humming to himself) with much to do, people to see, places to go…

Berlin was a freak fest just waiting to happen. With over 2 month of planning and many sleepless nights we finally departed for Berlin (with all the stuff that we needed for our stand being sent by lorry and with me wondering if it would turn up or weather it would – like most luggage – end up somewhere else, or even worse get mixed up and I would end up with the display for some one else – knowing my luck nuns or orphans.) and headed for the orange glow that is easyjet. I have to admit that I have never been on an easy jet plane and most of what I know has come from Airport (the ITV show that shows a fly on the wall look at the EasyJet group) so I was expecting delays and missed flights, but what I got was plain sailing (or should that be flying) and we arrived in Berlin on time and with all my luggage (darn and there was me hoping for a nun or orphan in stead of my luggage).

The Hotel that my boss was staying at was infact a craphole of a place, and the only reason that we where not staying at the same place was due to a small problem that the hotel didn’t have any rooms (what a pity) so we (me and my manager) had to stay in a 4 star hotel in suites (they up graded us because I was a lovely gentleman – my grandmother would be proud). The set up day for Berlin was rather nevous for me I had arranged that all the pallets of stuff would be delivered to our stand and when we parked the car at the venue I has starting to panic – but because I am a wonderful and skilled individual (*giggle*) all was there and on time (well that is German effisency for you!). I took over 8 hours to set the stand up but in the end it did look rather cool (until we looked at other peoples stands – they had put a lot of effort and cash into the stands and ours was a spend as little cash as possible affair.).

The first day was knackering, the Venus Fair opened at 11am and closed at 10pm, as it was the trade day (the people who we wanted to deal with) I had a half hour brake and staeted to look around – O M G – There was one stall run by a company from Japan which was extreme water sports (and we are not talking wake boarding or water skiing here) and very odd gay porn. Well it would be rude not too watch wouldn’t it! A small bloke walked onto the stand and took off his dressing gown and started to put snooker ball up his arse. Well Im sure you would expect me to turn away in moral disgust – but dear reader I continued to watch , for you, understand. He then produced a plate and popped each ball out onto the plate….

*UPDATE* This has now become the most serched for page on the whole of my blog – really worringly if you type ‘Balls in arse’ in google this post comes up as number six in the listing (go on try it!). If you are thinking about putting yopur balls up your arse – please don’t; having to go to A&E and having to explain why – although you may end up as an interesting case study in the Lancet.

SF xxx