Let’s talk about sex (but not in front of the kids!…)

7 04 2010

A few weeks ago a tweet caught my eye, it was from someone who was trying to drum up signatures to a petition regarding the new and improved ‘compulsory’ sex education lessons for children in UK schools from the age of five. I clicked on the link; as soon as I had I knew that I would have to do a blog about it…

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New Year – almost new me!

10 01 2008

Could this be the year that I finally sort out my life? Well if things go according to plan, then maybe? This year will see some major changes to the way that I have been living my life. I am not going to tempt fate and tell you all about (the dear sweet and close friends of the interweb.) what I will be doing. So here goes; just a few of the things that I shall be sorting out this year!

PERSONAL

This is the year that I am going to make my mark on the world. But, what to do? Do I seek world domination? I would need a hollowed out volcano and a white pusrsen to be able to do this. I doubt weather ebay would have either of those things. What about a chart number 1. Well come off it, it’s not difficult to do; just look at what is in the current chart! I shall also have to loose a little *cough* of the excess weight that I have put on over the last year *cough*. I need to move on from the job that has taught me more than any other job I have had the pleasure to do; mostly about huge black/green/tan/blue rubber cocks. It has been a great experience but I do need to move on…

I will also be doing some huge, new and rather unexpected things during the year! Let’s just say that it will involve me and the monkey moving house at least three times. That is all I will tell you for the time being as, if I do tell you, I am sure to bugger up the whole thing.

HEALTH & BEAUTY

I must become more beautiful. I know that it’s highly unlikely to happen. I don’t take a good photo. You just have to look through the rouge’s gallery that is my facebook account. I have a look of the strange bloke that your mother warned you not to talk to when you where a kid. So plastic surgery is the only option. I’m thinking about maybe a chin tuck, liposuction, get rid of the bags under the eyes, fuck it; maybe a total body swap. I also recon that I need to start some sort of exercise régime, something that is fun *shudder* and wouldn’t force me to wear spandex (not a pleasant thought).
  
WORK & PROFESSIONAL LIFE

Get one!

COMMUNITY

Oh god! Am I going to be forced to join the ghetto that is the gay community? I would rather kiss David Cameron’s arse! Mmmm maybe I should join a book club or craft circle. The local Starbucks has a craft evening on a Thursday. Wow! I could make my own cards like they do on QVC – can I hear Christmas decoupage anyone?

GREEN

So what can I do to become greener? I would like to get a wormary. We recycle about 69% of all our waste, so maybe I need to look at what I am buying – maybe cut out the shit that I buy. Come on it we all do it.

MONEY

Get some. I really need to sort out how I spend the pittance that I currently get. Maybe get me a less expensive boyfriend; I could sell him via the small ads.

Pets and Pet Equipment
NORTHERN MONKEY – One slightly soiled Northern Monkey for sale. Good working order will demand big cups of tea, but with a few light beatings, you will get used to his demands. Almost house trained, will require news paper to be laid down over the floor. £15 O.N.O Call Paul on 01237 465035

HOME

Well I still have some big news to tell – but I can’t until I know – but keep watching this space

EDUCATION

Get some

TRAVEL

Watch this space!

So with a few little hints as to how my life will be playing out over the next few months and weeks, I do have to say that things do change (and I hope that this year they are for the best!)

Bingo Bango Bongo

Sf xxx





Questions – et al….

1 05 2007

Questions from Wondy Woman

1. If you weren’t doing the job you are doing now – what would you like to be doing?

I would love to be doing something that makes the world a better place – charity work, environmentally friendly company who sells vegan stuff, you get the idea. I would also love to be a paleontologist, it’s what I was planning to become when I was at uni – but the cost of doing a PHd ment that it was out of my league (it would have cost me a little over 15K a year – and that’s without the rent and food to think of!) I just wanted to do it so I could become Prof. Paul Maxwell – how cool is that!

2. Name 8 people (can be alive or dead celebrities – or ‘real’ people) you would invite to your fantasy dinner party. Say why you have chosen these individuals.

I have to be honest, celebs do nothing for me – I think the only person who I would want to have dinner with who could be classed as a celeb would be Sir David Attenborough, as he is the coolest person in the world. So thats 1, then there would be Juliet Gellatley (she is the only hero I have – after members of my own family that is) she set up and founded Viva! And I have been lucky enough to have the privilege of working with her. 2 down 6 more to go – Richard Dawkins (‘cos he’s a God Botherer Botherer), Peter Tatchel – the most active human rights activist around at the moment. Emily Pankhurst – I like her style. Steve Biko – for being a true hero to the anti apartide movement in South Africa and for believing in non violence as the way forward. I am going to have to put Monkey in there as well. I think I am also going to have to add the wonderful WondyWoman as well!

3. If you could give it all up tomorrow and go around the world, where would you visit and why?

It would have to be all the places that may not make it, the coral reefs, polar ice caps, and South East Asian rainforests. All the places that in 50 years time may not be here because of us!

4. What do you look for in the perfect partner, and do you think you have found that?

He’s not perfect – but I think that if he was perfect I would have dumped him by now! Monkey makes me laugh, keeps me warm at night and irritates the fuck out of me as well. All you could ever want in a relationship!

5. What, in your opinion, is the meaning of life?

42

Here are the rules, if you’d like to participate:
Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Don’t forget to post the rules!





darn – Ive been hit

16 03 2007

Darn – Have been tagged from the Delite-ful Wondy Woman. This is what I have to do!

1) Go to Wikipedia
2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year
3) List three events that happened on your birthday
4) List two important birthdays and one death
5) One holiday or observance (if any)
6) Tag 5 other bloggers to complete

Here goes…

Events:
1969Apollo Program: Apollo 11 lands on the Moon.
2001 – The London Stock Exchange goes public.
2003Richard Sambrook, the Director of BBC News, reveals that David Kelly was the source of claims that Downing Street had “sexed up” the “Dodgy Dossier“.

Births:
356 BCAlexander the Great, Macedonian king and military leader (d. 323 BC)
1938 – Dame Diana Rigg, British actress (wow! I always knew that we had a spiritual link somehow)
1943Wendy Richard, British actress (even better – could only be topped by Barbara Windsor)

Death:
1973Bruce Lee, American actor and martial artist (b. 1940)

Holiday:
International chess day